Church and such

I will take some time to blog on this sunday afternoon as i sit in my room delaying to start waxing my car. I just got back from a church a few minutes ago. I wont go too deep into my faith and what i believe in and why i believe what i do but i am Catholic. I have gone to a couple other youth group activities at other churches like Central Prebeterian and the Lutheran (sorry if i spelled that wrong) church.

But i have been raised Catholic so that is what i do. I have not been raised hardcore Catholic though like some kids i suppose. My parents probably had a more strict upbringing than i did but both of them went to Catholic school at one time or another. Anways, its kind of interesting. Whenever i go to church, my mind seems to wander a lot and i often find myself thinking of things that have nothing to do with the gospel or any of the readings or the sermon. I think about running a lot, for some reason, i think about school, my friends, anything going on in my life, you know, stuff like that. Its hard cause then i realize that i havent been really paying attention and then i dont really know what the person is talking about so my mind drifts again. I dont know though, my mind doesnt really drift that seriously anywhere more than at church. Maybe its a good thing and it allows me to kind of go through everything going on. I dont know. I probably should be focusing more on whats going on in the mass but, whatever i guess.

But today was kind of different, it was a pretty intense gospel and sermon. It was about this poor guy named Laserus (that might be spelled wrong) and he lives a really hard life. Like, the poorest of the poor. He was sick and everything. But, i think, he still had his faith and overall he lived a good moral life. And then there was this other guy who was rich and had everything he could ever want. He would step over Laserus who was at his door looking for food. The rich man would step over him and pay no notice at all. Actually, he might have kicked him and pushed him aside. So in the end, they both die and Laserus goes to Heaven and is standing by Abrahams side and the rich man is looking up from hell and is in the flames and everything and asked forgiveness but Abraham just looks down and said you lived the best life and didnt share anything while Laserus didnt have anything. He told him that there were rules he had to follow and the rich man would be doomed to stay down there in torture and pain forever.

I thought that was pretty intense. I was actually listening to this one. Like not they usually have noninteresting topics the gospels, but this one just caught my attention especially well. Its just kind of scary thinking about it. Just the fact that, according to my faith, if you screw up in this life time there are no second chances. Now i am not saying thats how it is. I mean everyone believes what they want to believe. And i mean even me myself have doubts every once in a while and i am not even the most firm in my beliefs. But still, its pretty scary. I dont know. I guess it just got my attention. Well...i should probably be off to start the rest of my day. Talk to you later.
-Andy

This is the second time. Sometimes i dont know what to do

I hate it when this happens. its the second time that it has. somehow i have offended someone who i care about a lot and they completely hate me. and its not even my fault. they are overexhagerating and its almost like they were looking for a reason to hate me. and this is the second time that i have pretty much gotten on my knees and begged for forgiveness for something that i didnt even do just cause i want the friendship back. i mean what did i do wrong to make someone who i had a great friendship with suddenly hate me. how can i even know if they wont tell me and there isnt even a reasonable reason for their sudden change of how they view me. and i ask myself why i keep doing this. why do i swallow up every bit of my pride and take the blame for everything to ask for forgiveness for something i didnt even do. it sucks. i dont know what to do. and then i dont know what to do in general. it seems like just about everyone else out there in the world has a very best friend that they are closer with than anyone else in the world. i dont have that best friend. i did. but then he started dating this girl. and we are still great friends but its not the same. we arent the type of friends where we hang out every weekend and all we do is sit and do nothing. i have other really close friends. and i am really grateful but sometimes i wish i had that best friend. its hard. i just dont know what to do. and then stuff like this happens and i am completely lost. i dont know. this has been sort of a crappy night just cause of the person who now hates me and wont even give me a chance to hear some things at least they need to know. they wont even give me a chance. and how am i supposed to feel when that person who you were close with calls you a dick and an idiot and an ass and the worst things someone can call someone else and end messages with things like bye, have a good life. i guess i just try to look to the good things in life. there have been some new good things that have been happening lately. i met this girl and i guess i have hope in the possitiliby that maybe it will turn into something really good cause i am starting to like her a lot. but we will see. i dont know. ryan, you will probably be the only one to read this, and it is a lot of rambling and it skips...but thanks ryan and anyone else who reads this.
-Andy

Words of wisdom from matt keeler

I was talking to matt at cross country today and telling him how i think he should get a blog. he probably wont but thats ok. he told me to write a quote of his or something in my blog. so i said i would and i said i would write about it. his quote was "Life is like a garden. Dont be a hoe." i think thats what he said. maybe its not but thats close enough. Yup...thats it...and its kind of a funny quote and it sort of makes sense. i just dont know how. i am kind of hitting a block on it. whatever i suppose. i still talked about it i guess. I guess i will talk about something else eh. I just bought this new cd by a band named Hurt. they are pretty much amazing. I seriously dont know how anyone could not like their music. its like a perfect mix of heavy metal and with a lot of accoustic guitar. plus the singers voice is really unique and his lyrics are pretty intense. i am not the best person at interpreting lyrics so i dont always know what he is saying for sure but they are usually filled with all these cool extended metaphors that i would never be able to come up with. that is a skill i am pretty lacking in. i cant write song lyrics to save my life. well i guess i can try but they never seem to be any good. they are simple which can sometimes be a good thing but with me they are just bad. whatever i suppose. i make up for it by being about to write decent music on the piano and guitar. or at least i think so. well thats probably about it for this blog. talk to you later eh...

Ryan and blogging

So i dont know who will read this, besides ryan probably, but thats ok. ryan is pretty much one of the coolest kids ever. Hes such a good guy and someone who i really look up to and have a lot of respect for. One day he was telling me about this blog thing that he did. I sort of know what blogs were sort of through myspace. But according to ryan this is better than myspace. Maybe he didnt say it directly but he means it. Anyways i thought i sounded pretty cool and then i went and looked at his last night and i thought it would pretty cool to make my own. It is actually a good idea. Sometimes i think what i need is a place where i can write and just speak my mind. This will probably work pretty well for me. Who knows, maybe it will be my next myspace...an internet site where i spend large amounts of time. Who knows. But if you read this you should definitely comment me or like tell me or something even if i dont really know you just so i know maybe i am not writing to myself. And i suppose if i am in fact writing to myself, then i dont know. I suppose i will have to figure out what i will do when i get to that point. And excuse my probable randomness. But hopefully maybe you will like what i am writing somewhat. I dont know. Talk to you later...