I want to address two things. They aren't really related. You might be able to see a relationship though. We will see after I am done. I don't know which to start with. Feel free to read this blog out of order.
Well I guess I will start by saying that I have something that I want to do. And I think it would be really fun. For the past couple of months I have been thinking that I would really like to play my piano music for people. There are a lot of new songs that I have written, and I think it might alright just in that so far people have told me it is alright music. But I feel like it would be weird asking a bunch of people in general to come listen to my music. I feel weird in general asking any single person to listen to my music. I don't know what it is, but I guess that might just be who I am.
I feel like I have thought of what I want to do. I had had some inspiration from people earlier, and last night I was listening to Jill play guitar and sing some of her music, and I thought she was really amazing but maybe hasn't had that much of a chance for people to hear her music. And then I thought or Ryan Haagenson being very similar. Amazing music but not really heard by many. So what I thought would be cool would be to invite anybody over to my house some night and like Jill and Ryan and I could play some of our music and anybody else who wanted to play anything could. So far the people I have talked to think it would a pretty good idea. I think it would be fun. Maybe, it won't be, but right now I will start talking to people and see what they think. And I guess there doesn't even have to be a lot of people. It will just be a fun night to hang out and listen to music. So far I have a tentative date set at February 23rd. Anyone who reads this should let me know what they think.
Now onto a different thing that I often find myself thinking about. I feel like in my mind, I think that other people are very much like me, and they think very similar. Or maybe I mean I tend to think about what other people worse responses are to anything more than anything else. That probably doesn't make a lot of sense as it is. I will ellaborate and provide examples. I often think a lot about what I am going to say, because I think a lot about whether anybody will take offense to what I say, or something like that. Often, in my mind if there is reason that maybe somebody will reject what I say and make me feel like an idiot, I usually won't say it. I am afraid to ask certain things, or try to be the first to say something, or to try to get people to listen or follow me because I am always afraid that they will straight up say no and that is it. A lot of times it is ironic because after I put down such thoughts, somebody else will say what I wouldn't, and it would be good.
I don't know why it is that I am like that. Maybe I have been conditioned to be so. I feel like that is a big part of it. It still happens to me, but I feel like in the past I have been shut down on a lot of various occasions. Or maybe it is just my personality. Maybe I am meant to be more timid sort of and just quiet and not a leader at all. Gosh I would certainly hope that I am not, for that is not who I want to be, but I am afraid that is still who I am.
And it is weird too. Maybe it has taught me not to be a certain way. All the time I see somebody ask somebody else for sometimes even a small favor and that person flat out says no and pretends like they have no conscience and doesn't think about that person. I guess that doesn't necessarily make that person a bad person, but I definitely know how it feels to be rejected like that, so whenever anyone asks me for a similar thing or something, I try to do what I can. And if I can't do it or whatever, I try to be nice about saying no. At least that is what I hope that I do. I definitely don't want to be the person that flat out says no. Again, it doesn't necessarily make that person a bad person, but I guess it is just something I try not to do. I don't know. Maybe you can relate to this. Maybe not.
And that I believe is my blogging for the night. Hope it wasn't too bad. Talk to you later.
-Andy
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3 comments:
That's how it is, champster. the world is kinda redic. I know I feel very, VERY similar to what you are expressing, but i will talk more indepth when we chill next.
I think the get together and do music night is a good idea, that'd be pretty cool.
I think the fear of rejection is something that most people feel, and sadly it's a hard thing to get over. The only thing I would say that makes it easier is if you try to just casually ask favors.
hahaha oh andy. I love oyur blogs. im typing this on my hpone' so bear with the spelling errrors. anywya... the music night sounds like a good idea! I know i'd come.
and I totally know what you're talking about with the whole being nervous to say things at times. I think its best to just say what's on your mind. even if you think it mght offend someone. if it offends them, apologize. if they don't accept your apology' they don't deserve to be your friend. oh, and you definitely know yourself well. everything you said you were in this blog is in fact true. muahahah. ow, cramp in my hand.
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